In case you didn’t know, because I’m
the shy, retiring type who doesn’t like to bang on about things, I’ve got a new
album out.
I’m not going to be old fashioned and
call it a record as it doesn’t exist in any physical form, unless someone
pirates it. I’m also not going to tell you that I’ve “dropped some new tunes,”
because, well, I’m not a prick.
The album is called The
Day After Tomorrow Is the Third Day of the Rest of Your Life. Catchy,
huh?
In the absence of any serious muso
types taking on the task I’m going to review it right here for you. I will do
this in a very unbiased way, but I have to tell you that it’s fucking
excellent, easily the best work I’ve ever done.
So here goes.
The Start of the Same Old Rubbish is a very tongue in cheek commentary
on how I don’t take myself too seriously. I’m kidding, it’s crap, but the only
way is up from the bottom, right?
Everyone’s experienced problems with
technology before and Printer is my take on the
infuriation of technology biting us in the arse when we least want it, which is
never.
Numerous trips to the cinema and
several written rants about the subject inspired Movies. This song is
dedicated to the absolute shysters who run my local cinema in Beverley.
Local Hero isn’t about a real hero at all and
is about a man I see walking around town a lot. He pushes one of those old
shopping basket/trolley things that your gran probably used to have with him
everywhere he goes and I imagine it’s full of fish and chips as he’s always
outside the chippy waiting for them to open.
Remember Friends? The
One About those People off that Programme on the Telly will give you a
quick 30 second recap in case you don’t.
Rip Off is a proper angry rant about the
cost of everything. Am I getting old and bitter? Yes. Next!
I’d never done a blues song before so
Third
Album Blues seemed like a good way to totally spoil that particular
genre for anyone who might be a fan of it.
You never hear any Easter songs, do
you? Until now. The Easteriest Things might well be the first one and I anticipate
it being a huge hit, apart from the fact that it heavily mocks religion. Oh
well. Yes, it’s very much like My Favourite Things from The
Sound of Music, but I don’t think anybody will notice that.
Ukulele Group takes a swipe at one ukulele group
in particular. It’s not likely to win me any friends in the scene, particularly
in York. Oh, I’ve said too much.
There always has to be an
instrumental track on one of my albums and Another Bloody Instrumental? ticks that
box. I’m strangely proud of this song and it will probably be most listeners’
least favourite as there’s no swearing in it. On the plus side it gives you a
little break from hearing my “singing”.
Phoning It In brings everything to a close and
there’s an homage to Slayer at the end of it which is more like direct theft
than a tribute.
Please go and have a listen or 50 and
tell your friends and family about it if you don’t want them to ever speak to
you again.
It’s on Google Play Music, Spotify and
a host of other music streaming platforms I can’t be arsed to find the links
to.
Cheers, uke hunters.
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